May13
May13

The state of American politics

Why is it considered ruder to point out that someone reeks of BO, and ask them to shower before coming to work, than it is to reek of BO because you won’t shower before coming to work?

Now, replace ”reeks of BO” with “is a big time racist”, and “shower before coming to work” with “stop saying/doing racist things”. Voila!

Sep25
Sep15
This is my new kitten, Vidal. After Gore, not Sassoon, just so we’re clear. Sadly, my two OG kitties haven’t yet accepted him, so there’s lots of tenuous sniffing and the occasional freaked out hiss. If only cats were as swayed by ZOMFG TEH CUTE as people.
Honestly though, such a little gentleman!

This is my new kitten, Vidal. After Gore, not Sassoon, just so we’re clear. Sadly, my two OG kitties haven’t yet accepted him, so there’s lots of tenuous sniffing and the occasional freaked out hiss. If only cats were as swayed by ZOMFG TEH CUTE as people.

Honestly though, such a little gentleman!

Sep15

I’m just smiling and nodding, btw.

jgh:

I am endlessly entertained by batshit, and I’ll hear the crazier things if I act neutral about what she’s saying.

2 years ago my GF got to meet my Dad for the first time. I’d promised her that she’d get to see some triple distilled, single malt quality wingnuttery on this trip. For nearly a week nothing happened, aside from my Dad being his usual Abe Simpson-meets John Birch self. Then came the last morning. I was woken as usual by the 7 AM blast of Fox News on every one of their TVs - it’s impossible to sleep during that ADD-Riefenstahl Lite cacophony - so I staggered down to drink coffee and watch Morning Joe stroke out over the latest republican, I mean non partisan outrage.

FORESHADOWING: Oklahoma has only recently recieved a large hispanic population courtesy of NAFTA induced immigration from Mexico. Old white people are FREAKING OUT about this.

That morning, Morning Joe was all about DRUGS, DRUGS DRUGS TRAFFICKING SKEERY! I made the strategic decision to comment on the issue, pointing out something about how the “drug problem” seems to be caused by the very obvious fact that Americans like drugs a lot. My GF comes down stairs as my dad says “I don’t think nonviolent users should be jailed, but dealers ought to be shot on sight.” GF gets a suprised but amused look on her face just in time for Stepmom to chime in with “yeah, and we should kill all the mexicans coming up I-44 too.”

Smiling and nodding. Smiling and nodding.

Sep15

Barack Obama Is, Apparently, Black

In high school, I was the only person at my tiny little smalltown school who listened to music that wasn’t hair metal or top 40. For most of my secondary education I was the happy recipient of ”hey faggot” and “why do you have to stand out by looking strange? Why can’t you stand out by being athletic” and similarly idiotic comments.

That is, until halfway through my senior year, when Nevermind became the number one album in the country. Suddenly, everyone at school became very interested in my taste in music. I was frequently asked what I thought about this band or that band. After the first 5 times people were shocked that I thought Nirvana were overblown and kind of lame, I got tired of that conversation and instead pretended I liked them. It was annoying, suddenly being the ambassador for weirdos. Thankfully it lasted 4 months and then I graduated high school and for the most part never saw these people again.

Sadly, Black people don’t get to graduate from America School. If I were Barack Obama, I know I’d be absolutely sick to death of constantly being asked to comment on everything another Black person does or says. Honestly, why the fuck would anyone even ask him what he thinks about Kanye’s little outburst?

That said, Obama at least handles it better than I would. I’m pretty sure it’s not considered presidential to tell a vacuous douchebag with a mic to take a flying fuck at the moooooooon for asking a stupid question about nonsense.

Sep15

Washington Post Clearly Owns Stock In Pitchfork and Torch Manufacturing Concerns, And Is Blatantly Trying To Raise The Value Of Their Stock Portfolio

It’s really the only logical explanation I can come up with for this nonsense:

First, the Actual Headline:

World’s Wealthy Pay a Price In Crisis

Nations Raise Taxes, Tighten Regulations

And the content?

"LONDON - In this land of inherited privilege and celebrity billionaires, it no longer pays as much to be rich.

Hobbled by soaring debt and ballooning public spending amid the global financial crisis, the British government is joining others around the globe in tapping the wealthy to cover massive shortfalls. As a result, the tax rate here for those making more than $250,000 a year is set to jump from 40 to 50 percent, leaving the likes of Charlie Mullins — the self-made king of London plumbing — fuming. He estimates that the new bill on his $2.5 million annual income, with exemptions, will jump by no less than $236,000.

Observers say it is part of a far broader campaign in the wake of the Great Recession — including curbs on bankers’ pay and a rigorous global hunt for tax cheats from Switzerland to Singapore — that is suddenly putting the world’s wealthy on notice.

Aside from the stupidity of the term “The Great Recession” - yes, it’s tremendously bad out there, scary as fuck in fact. But so was the first Reagan recession, and so too was the late 80s/early 90s recession that itself grew out of Reagan’s awesome policies. A moribund economy that ruins lives is the natural result of Republican policies. They should just call it the Bush Recession since that’s what the fuck it is, and stop trying to make it sound like this is the “Greatest Generation” part two1.

Where was I? Ah, aside from that stupid term, what I’m trying to figure out is just why, when America’s major newspapers seem to be spending more time chronicling the plight of the people who caused this terrible nightmare, and who will still be fabulously wealthy when everything “improves”, I am supposed to care about their demise?

Oh well. I may be terrified for my job security but at least I’m not suffering the horrible fate of being wealthy and yet being expected to pay the same tax rate that I did the last time this country’s economy wasn’t completely terrible.

1) Here’s where I make Tom brokaw cry. The greatest generation, as a cohort, were extremely resistent to civil rights, and outright opposed to women’s equality. Granted, the South must be singled out, but let’s not pretend it was FDR’s generation, or the Baby boom, who swept Nixon into power (though the Baby Boom did manage to cock us all up by joining forces with mom and dad and let Reagan run roughshod over the country that FDR managed to fix.)

So pardon me if I’m not exactly falling over myself with worship for them. In awe of the number of calamities they endured? Of course. But convinced that they endured them due to their unique special goodness? Fuck no. In fact, they would have died in droves like everyone else in the world had A) FDR and the New Deal not stablized the country while laying the groundwork for long term economic stability, and B) if America was a European country.

Jul21
Jul21

Health Care

Why is it that the raving nonsense of ignorant jerks must be given equal time alongside people who aren’t opposed to universal health care? Why is it that our entire political system seems designed to ensure that the prickish assholes will always have their voices heard?

Jul8
Jul8

Molten lava cake. No such thing as molten lava pie.

jgh:

BAM.

 It’s a southern delicacy, but they call it Magma Pie.

Jul8

This looks to be a combo of Alien Nation and Sin Nombre. Please don’t suck.

Jul8
Jul7

yumwatch:

A video first for Yumwatch!!!

This is a terrible iPhone video Joseph and I made the other night at Hae Jang Chon! It was extemporanous, so obviously I am awkward and unrehearsed, but I am pleased that I can start making short iPhone vids of my foodie adventures.

Once I get my shit together, there will be many, many more of these, no doubt. At least now you know what I sound like/how much I use my hands when I talk.

Jul7